Going through a divorce is not easy, but when you add children into the mix, it can become much harder. Parents who care about their children want to make sure that the outcome of the divorce is in the best interest of their child. Luckily, with a few tips, you can make the child time sharing transition a much easier one.
A schedule: Create a schedule and post it at both houses. Even if the child is young, it can be helpful for him to see exactly when he will be with mom and with dad.
Stay positive: When it is time for an exchange, use positive words and actions. For instance, when it is time for your ex-spouse to pick up your child, say something like, “Your (mom or dad) will be so happy to see you.”
Communication between parents: Should the communication be difficult for you, it can be helpful to keep a notebook or other communication log. The log can stay with the child and travel from house to house. Place school and extracurricular schedules as well as other important items in the log so both parents know exactly what is going on.
Also, there may be times your child comes home and says something that upsets you. Remember, a child’s perception of things is not always the same as what actually happened. Be sure to communicate with your ex to clear things up before getting upset over an incident. This helps keeps things out in the open and will help build lines of clear communication. This not only helps you as a parent, but also helps your child.
Communication between parent and child: Being separated from one of their parents at all times can be hard on a child. To make it a bit easier, allow your child to call your ex and tell him or her, “Good Night” before going to bed. You can also have a picture of the other parent in your child’s bedroom.
While it is important to talk with your child about their time with the other parent, you don’t want to use him for information about your ex-spouse’s new life. If there is something you need to know, ask the other parent.
Be flexible: It is important to follow the schedule as closely as possible, but there are times when it pays to be flexible. If there are times your ex wants to switch days or conflicts due to family events, working extra hours, or other plausible situations, allow the other parent the time needed if it does not cause you any major inconveniences.
Child time sharing can be a positive experience for everyone involved, but if you find the situation to not be working, we would love to help. Don’t hesitate to contact us.